I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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