You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
