forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She's the barista slut.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
