please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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