so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I smell like Dick and happiness
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
