On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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