That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
