She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So much Jack, so little girl.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
