Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize