is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
