In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
