Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
