But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
