dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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