I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
my shit smells like andre
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
