Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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