Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
