I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Who died my cat blue again?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
