I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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