Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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