my soul wont recognize me after tonight
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
