She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
