went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
