It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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