More tranny stories later!
i was born a porn star she said
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
