i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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