fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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