You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
it's great music for shaving your balls
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
