when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
