I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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