Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
