I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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