i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize