I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
