I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
