Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
