Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
