That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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