Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
