Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
