I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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