oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
