I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
