Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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