Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
