can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
