I just made out with a guy for $7.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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