I'm so fucking centered right now
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
