I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
