My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
