Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
