You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
