it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
