apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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