how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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