No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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