on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
