You're my little dorito
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
