Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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