Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
