it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
